Lesbian Event Involving Dancing
2004-02-16, 10:59 a.m.

I don�t even want to hear from those of you who work for the government and get today off.

We *mostly* had a good V-Day. We had to call the police and have Carol�s son arrested on Saturday. We picked C up on Thursday and then she stayed with us for a few days. On Saturday, we met up with Dan in Grand Rapids and he took C home. Well, he acted like a complete psychopath. She�s still a bit jumpy and not altogether with it and he drove 100 mph on the highway, even though she was scared witless and asked him to stop numerous times. He got her home and wouldn�t let her talk on the phone or anything. PJH called over there and D wouldn�t let her talk to C until P threatened to call the police. D threatened to kill both C and PJH. D told C that he was going to have �his bitches� over there, they were going to do whatever they wanted and she wasn�t going to do anything about it. C was a wreck. Dan is 6�1 or so, 200 pounds and very strong. He physically intimidated her and threatened her more than once. A couple of times while she was on the phone with PJH and P could hear. PJH called the sheriff and they picked Dan up. He has to stay either 28 days or until someone posts $500 bond for him and there is a personal protection order in place so Dan can no longer live at Carol�s. That drama was over in time for us to have dinner with Barbara G and then do to the Lesbian Event Involving Dancing.

It was fun. PJH and I like dancing together and we had a good time. There was also ample fun to be had just looking at all the people who were there. I am continually amazed at what lesbians will go out in public looking like. And the bad displays of �dirty dancing.� I wanted, on several occasions, to go over to the �offending� couple and say, �No. Wait. I think that *this* is what you�re trying to do.� There was plenty of garden-variety bad dancing and a couple of people who were terrible dancers but were clearly having so much fun, it didn�t matter. They weren�t trying to look like they knew what they were doing. Bad dancing, in and of itself isn�t so bad. It�s the people who are quite sure they are the next incarnation of Solid Gold Dancer and they aren�t even close to the rhythm of the song. For the record, I�ve been told that I can dance well enough, PJH can when she�s inclined as can our friend Barbara. So none of us embarrassed ourselves.

These Lesbian Events Involving Dancing (as opposed to parties at people�s houses where no dancing happens because we know white people don�t dance at parties) invariably include one or more group dances. I refuse to participate. Oh, once or twice, I was tricked into Macarena-ing. I used to drink back then. Who knows what all I did while under the influence of Tanqueray and Tonic? However, when lucid, I do not participate in these so called dances. I observe and it�s enough to strengthen my resolve not to do it in the future. Someone�s always going the wrong way or bumping into someone. There�s inevitably the one femme girl who thinks that she is The Femme Fatale of the Century and is busy slutting up the dance. There�s always the one butch who thinks she is so suave that everyone is looking her way. Word to the wise: there is nothing less enticing than line dancing. Unless you are at a country-western bar where it�s part of the gig. C&W bars seem to require Western Wear and bolo ties which pretty much ruins the �cool� image you might have been going for. Anyway, I digress.

There were also lots of people there we knew. Including one woman on whom I have a Totally Harmless Would Never Do Anything About It Crush. She�s nice, she�s smart, she looks good in a tie and she�s so tall that, even when I�m wearing 3� heels, I have to stand on tiptoe to hug her.

In other news, we got Tasha (The Dog) shaved and she looks so cute I can hardly stand it. We picked her up on Saturday on the way to take C to meet Dan and Tasha came prancing out of the �Beauty Parlor�, quite proud of herself. In honor of Valentine�s Day, they gave her a pink scarf to wear around her neck. She kept showing it off, which was really cute. One of these days, I�m going to have to put pictures of The Dog and The Cats Which Are Soon To Not Be Ours Because They Give Me Migraines up so y�all can see �em.

Sunday was the laziest day in recent memory. We slept through the alarm and didn�t go to either church service, at which PJH was supposed to sing. Eeep. We didn�t even wake up until Barbara G. called to find out where we were. Crikey. So we went out to breakfast, went to see Big Fish (very weird, but very good. Bring tissue.) and literally did nothin� else all day. Read, talked on the phone. I didn�t even make dinner or PJH�s lunch for today! Scandalous, I tell you.