101 Random Things About Me
2003-12-02, 2:57 p.m.

101 Random Things About Me

1. I�m cheating and using the numbering dealie on Word so I don�t mis-number things. I�m good at that. Misnumbering things, that is.

2. I really don�t like dogs, though I have one. She�s all right.

3. I never know how to spell all right � is it �all right� or �alright�? Since neither creates a spelling prompt in Word, I imagine it�s alright.

4. I�m too lazy to look it up.

5. I�m sick today and not feeling too nice. I hate being sick.

6. I yelled at my girlfriend and then wrote a snotty diary entry about her (on another diary site) because I�m sick and feel pitiful.

7. I�m leaving work at 1:55 today to go to the doctor. I probably just have a cold but I want to be sure it�s not a sinus infection or something requiring antibiotics.

8. I actually do whine a bit. (PS Update: I have a sinus infection and have to take both Bactrim and Extex plus boat loads of aspirin for the headache.)

9. I read about crafts a lot but never do them. Just read about them.

10. Though, for Christmas this year (2003), I am making several people polar fleece blankets that require no sewing.

11. I do not sew.

12. I am addicted to beauty products � if you want to make me happier than a pig in mud, give me a gift certificate to either sephora.com, blissout.com or a local spa. Like m-spa.com. Shoot. The local Walgreen�s will even make me happy. They have all kinds of cool stuff.

13. I know all about skin care. In fact, I can probably tell you what you should use even if your skin is the exact opposite of mine. Which is oily, but aging.

14. If you�re young and have dry skin with no acne and no lines, however, I am not likely to be inclined to help you.

15. Unless your skin is unsightly due to flaking. Then I�ll take pity on you.

16. I�m a huge fan of an as-yet-undiscovered singer who hasn�t even graduated from college yet. Her name is Andrea Willmoth and she is a senior at Western Michigan University. She not only has the greatest, soulful voice I�ve ever heard in a white girl, she�s fucking gorgeous. I mean for real. And sweet, too.

17. She sings at my church fairly regularly which is how I know about her.

18. My other favorite performer is Jenna Mammina, who is not exactly undiscovered as she�s won national awards and all but she hasn�t hit the radio airwaves yet.

19. My favorite artist is Johannes Vermeer. His use of color is brilliant.

20. When I was 20, I decided I needed a favorite artist and poet and went out in search of them. Then, their specific painting and poem.

21. The poet is Rumi.

22. The painting is Young Woman With a Water Jug.

23. The poem isn�t titled but it says �As soon as I heard my first love song, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers are not found, they are in each other all along.� Or something like that. I don�t have a book of Rumi here at work to look it up.

24. I�m doing this rather than working because of #5. I can�t concentrate.

25. I have a degree in Social Science from Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, MI.

26. It was supposed to be Sociology but I could not stand going to school for one more year, so I switched in my last semester to a contractual, self-designed major just so I could graduate.

27. There�s magna cum laude, summa cum laude, cum laude and then there�s me. Lucky to graduate cum laude.

28. My ADD didn�t get diagnosed until I was 33. That explains a lot.

29. I wonder what my college GPA would have been if I�d done it sooner.

30. I love to do surveys from other diarylanders. I�ve even been known to search around for them.

31. I wonder if people look at their responses after a while has gone by to see if someone else has added stuff.

32. I am on my 5th serious relationship as an adult.

33. There were 3 not so serious ones in there, too.

34. And myriad casual relationships that were mostly about sex.

35. Of course, I was young and thin, then.

36. Now, I�m not.

37. One of my exes is unemployed in Memphis, one is a drunk bank manager, one is an project manager and one is a school counselor. That�s not in chronological order.

38. Among the less serious relationships I have no idea what any of them does professionally now.

39. One of my casual relationship �exes� is a doctor. She wasn�t then.

40. My favorite candy is starlight mints. The real ones, though. Those cheap knockoffs suck.

41. One of the greatest gifts I�ve ever gotten was a gallon of the vanilla syrup for soda. My sister gave it to me because I told her I liked Vanilla Diet Coke and I was irritated because they didn�t make it in caffeine free.

42. I need an organizer that has room for my Handspring Visor, a binder for some loose pages and monthly calendar pages as well as wallet stuff.

43. But it has to be cool looking. I do not want black. I want purple or something.

44. When I retire, I�m going to move to Missouri and go to seminary. Or else Clearwater, FL. Whichever.

45. I don�t want to be a minister in a church, however. I have no real idea what I want to do beyond study.

46. Maybe that�s all I�ll do � study.

47. Here�s my new favorite joke: What did Santa say when he got caught upside down in the chimney? Oh, oh, oh.

48. I love stupid jokes.

49. My niece, Macy (10 in Jan. 2004), and nephew, Lucky (6), are the coolest people ever.

50. They think I�m alright, too.

51. The only thing I�ve ever been able to keep for any length of time is a bookmark that Lucky made me when he was 3. It�s a teddy bear and his mother wrote for him on it �Lucky loves Aunt Barbie.� I had it laminated and PJH says she can usually see the bear�s feet sticking out of whatever book I�m currently reading.

52. I read a lot of books.

53. My current profession is fund raiser. I like it a lot.

54. I also have a lot of giraffes. I like them and people keep giving them to me. I have 3 in the garden, 2 on the mantel, a postcard in my office, a small silver statue in my office, plus myriad small ones that Macy and Lucky have given me.

55. Something disgusting: I perpetually have a plantar�s wart on my left foot that I can not get rid of no matter what. Even when the doctor removes it, it comes back. Gross.

56. Sometimes it hurts for no reason at all.

57. I volunteer at various things: on the Board of a local AIDS agency, as a chaplain at my church, on other committees.

58. I finally got my housecleaning down to a schedule so I dust and vacuum the floors and furniture on Tuesdays after I grocery shop and do a full house cleaning on Saturday morning. PJH is much happier now.

59. I like to iron.

60. I need a business winter coat. The coat I have is cool but not very professional. It�s warm and cool. Anyway, it�s a turquoise and purple Columbia with a zip out liner. I love it. I think I want a colored coat: lilac/lavender or light blue or something.

61. People who put apostrophes where they don�t belong, misuse myriad and use the word over when they mean �more than� drive me to absolute distraction.

62. Especially in a national publication or ad when they should know better.

63. I love those lists on Amazon.com that people create of various books.

64. I rarely buy anything at Amazon, though � I try to buy as much either at a local book store or from Powells.com, which is a local bookstore that just happens to be in another city.

65. I drink about 2 liters of water every day.

66. I probably go to the bathroom about 5 times a day.

67. I love to make soup and beans & rice for dinners.

68. I have never made a holiday meal.

69. I could eat a pound of shrimp all by myself.

70. Of course, I�d be sick as a dog afterwards, but I�d still do it.

71. Back to books: I�m out of my �liteature� phase. I want to read stuff that is fun but not dark. Why are all �good� books dark and depressing? Is it so wrong to want to read something light and fun?

72. I am having split pea soup for lunch. I am probably having some version of Progresso soup for dinner since I�m still sick and PJH has to work late. I�m still hungry. Sickness, alas, has not affected my appetite. Well, it has but not diminished it. I just can only eat certain things. Like soup. And drink tea. And eat oranges. Maybe cookies. I wonder what�s in the vending machine?

73. I�m a believer in Inner Children. And giving them their own names.

74. Mine�s Beezy. She�s probably about 3.5 years old.

75. I am NOT a nut.

76. Okay, so I very likely am but not because of that.

77. I absolutely adore costume jewelry. My favorite pin came from femailcreations.com and it�s 3 old women. It was a gift from my aunt J and I love it. I�d have bought it for myself.

78. I keep a bowl of candy on my desk to lure in my co-workers.

79. I manage to resist it most of the time.

80. My favorite newspaper comic strip is The Boondocks.

81. I also love Dykes to Watch Out For, but they won�t print that in the local paper.

82. I write letters to the editors of magazines, newspapers, etc. Sometimes they�ve been published. Once in Allure, several times in local newspapers and Lesbian Connection.

83. My most recent one, sent today, was to Good Housekeeeping about and article they published about a family with 11 children. All that the woman gave birth to. I said it was irresponsible of them and rather shameful, quite frankly. We�ll see if they print it.

84. I�m nothing if not opinionated.

85. I read GH at work since we get a subscription. Also Better Homes & Gardens.

86. 15 years ago, I would have felt compelled to add �I am a lesbian� to the list but now I figure you probably already know that. Still, it�s here, isn�t it?

87. I can think of only half a dozen men of my acquaintance that I like/love and/or respect. They are: my brother in law (Jim) Diva�s husband (Gnomad) my boss (Dennis), my friend Justin. Fred Lesley, who used to be a chaplain volunteer with me and whom I adore. He�s 75. Okay. That�s 5, then.

88. My dad didn�t make the list this year, but he might some day. I think he�s trying, anyway.

89. I have two great ideas for books: one fiction and one not but I never get around to writing them.

90. I�ll tell you what they are, if you ask me.

91. I usually carry a book and/or magazine around with me in my work bag.

92. I love to read about cooking and food.

93. I also love to cook though I�ve been less inspired lately due to PJH�s dietary restrictions. (No wheat, no cane sugar � though I finally found beet sugar, no dairy, not beans very often, not much salt. No pork and very little beef. There are several foods that I will not list that give her intestinal distress which in turn causes me olfactory distress.)

94. I�m on the web a lot but I don�t really have one top favorite web site. I like several. Can you believe it? Something about which I don�t really have an opinion?

95. I�m also a magazine reader. I read regularly: O (the Oprah magazine), Allure, Cooking Light, More, Family Fun (ideas of stuff to do with Macy and Lucky), Guideposts, Unity Magazine, Daily Word, Lesbian Connection. I occasionally read Woman�s Day, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, Better Homes & Gardens, In Style. Rarely, I�ll be unable to resist a kitschy cover blurb and I�ll pick up Cosmo or Glamour. I�m always disappointed, though, so I don�t know why I do it.

96. People give me old magazines of theirs and that makes me happy.

97. I like foreign magazines, too, the ones we don�t get here. I�m not too interested in, say British Vogue, but I�m interested in their own magazines. From England, Canada, any English or Spanish speaking country. I keep thinking I�ll learn Spanish better if I read their magazines. It doesn�t really work that way.

98. I�d love to be a beauty editor at a fashion magazine but not enough to move to NYC and start out again as an assistant.

99. Of course, if I spent any time on freelance writing, I could at least write for those magazines. But I don�t.

100. I wonder about weird things. Like, if there is a middle east, how come there isn�t a far east or a near east? At least not that we hear about. Please enlighten me if I�m wrong and such things do exist.

101. I also collect books on housekeeping, decorating, fashion and manners from earlier than 1960. They are hilarious. I don�t have that many of them, but I love it when I find one in a used book store or a garage sale.

And there you have it! 101 Random Bits of Information About Me!