101 Random Things About Me
2003-12-02, 2:57 p.m.

101 Random Things About Me

1. I’m cheating and using the numbering dealie on Word so I don’t mis-number things. I’m good at that. Misnumbering things, that is.

2. I really don’t like dogs, though I have one. She’s all right.

3. I never know how to spell all right … is it “all right” or “alright”? Since neither creates a spelling prompt in Word, I imagine it’s alright.

4. I’m too lazy to look it up.

5. I’m sick today and not feeling too nice. I hate being sick.

6. I yelled at my girlfriend and then wrote a snotty diary entry about her (on another diary site) because I’m sick and feel pitiful.

7. I’m leaving work at 1:55 today to go to the doctor. I probably just have a cold but I want to be sure it’s not a sinus infection or something requiring antibiotics.

8. I actually do whine a bit. (PS Update: I have a sinus infection and have to take both Bactrim and Extex plus boat loads of aspirin for the headache.)

9. I read about crafts a lot but never do them. Just read about them.

10. Though, for Christmas this year (2003), I am making several people polar fleece blankets that require no sewing.

11. I do not sew.

12. I am addicted to beauty products … if you want to make me happier than a pig in mud, give me a gift certificate to either sephora.com, blissout.com or a local spa. Like m-spa.com. Shoot. The local Walgreen’s will even make me happy. They have all kinds of cool stuff.

13. I know all about skin care. In fact, I can probably tell you what you should use even if your skin is the exact opposite of mine. Which is oily, but aging.

14. If you’re young and have dry skin with no acne and no lines, however, I am not likely to be inclined to help you.

15. Unless your skin is unsightly due to flaking. Then I’ll take pity on you.

16. I’m a huge fan of an as-yet-undiscovered singer who hasn’t even graduated from college yet. Her name is Andrea Willmoth and she is a senior at Western Michigan University. She not only has the greatest, soulful voice I’ve ever heard in a white girl, she’s fucking gorgeous. I mean for real. And sweet, too.

17. She sings at my church fairly regularly which is how I know about her.

18. My other favorite performer is Jenna Mammina, who is not exactly undiscovered as she’s won national awards and all but she hasn’t hit the radio airwaves yet.

19. My favorite artist is Johannes Vermeer. His use of color is brilliant.

20. When I was 20, I decided I needed a favorite artist and poet and went out in search of them. Then, their specific painting and poem.

21. The poet is Rumi.

22. The painting is Young Woman With a Water Jug.

23. The poem isn’t titled but it says “As soon as I heard my first love song, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers are not found, they are in each other all along.” Or something like that. I don’t have a book of Rumi here at work to look it up.

24. I’m doing this rather than working because of #5. I can’t concentrate.

25. I have a degree in Social Science from Aquinas College in Grand Rapids, MI.

26. It was supposed to be Sociology but I could not stand going to school for one more year, so I switched in my last semester to a contractual, self-designed major just so I could graduate.

27. There’s magna cum laude, summa cum laude, cum laude and then there’s me. Lucky to graduate cum laude.

28. My ADD didn’t get diagnosed until I was 33. That explains a lot.

29. I wonder what my college GPA would have been if I’d done it sooner.

30. I love to do surveys from other diarylanders. I’ve even been known to search around for them.

31. I wonder if people look at their responses after a while has gone by to see if someone else has added stuff.

32. I am on my 5th serious relationship as an adult.

33. There were 3 not so serious ones in there, too.

34. And myriad casual relationships that were mostly about sex.

35. Of course, I was young and thin, then.

36. Now, I’m not.

37. One of my exes is unemployed in Memphis, one is a drunk bank manager, one is an project manager and one is a school counselor. That’s not in chronological order.

38. Among the less serious relationships I have no idea what any of them does professionally now.

39. One of my casual relationship “exes” is a doctor. She wasn’t then.

40. My favorite candy is starlight mints. The real ones, though. Those cheap knockoffs suck.

41. One of the greatest gifts I’ve ever gotten was a gallon of the vanilla syrup for soda. My sister gave it to me because I told her I liked Vanilla Diet Coke and I was irritated because they didn’t make it in caffeine free.

42. I need an organizer that has room for my Handspring Visor, a binder for some loose pages and monthly calendar pages as well as wallet stuff.

43. But it has to be cool looking. I do not want black. I want purple or something.

44. When I retire, I’m going to move to Missouri and go to seminary. Or else Clearwater, FL. Whichever.

45. I don’t want to be a minister in a church, however. I have no real idea what I want to do beyond study.

46. Maybe that’s all I’ll do – study.

47. Here’s my new favorite joke: What did Santa say when he got caught upside down in the chimney? Oh, oh, oh.

48. I love stupid jokes.

49. My niece, Macy (10 in Jan. 2004), and nephew, Lucky (6), are the coolest people ever.

50. They think I’m alright, too.

51. The only thing I’ve ever been able to keep for any length of time is a bookmark that Lucky made me when he was 3. It’s a teddy bear and his mother wrote for him on it “Lucky loves Aunt Barbie.” I had it laminated and PJH says she can usually see the bear’s feet sticking out of whatever book I’m currently reading.

52. I read a lot of books.

53. My current profession is fund raiser. I like it a lot.

54. I also have a lot of giraffes. I like them and people keep giving them to me. I have 3 in the garden, 2 on the mantel, a postcard in my office, a small silver statue in my office, plus myriad small ones that Macy and Lucky have given me.

55. Something disgusting: I perpetually have a plantar’s wart on my left foot that I can not get rid of no matter what. Even when the doctor removes it, it comes back. Gross.

56. Sometimes it hurts for no reason at all.

57. I volunteer at various things: on the Board of a local AIDS agency, as a chaplain at my church, on other committees.

58. I finally got my housecleaning down to a schedule so I dust and vacuum the floors and furniture on Tuesdays after I grocery shop and do a full house cleaning on Saturday morning. PJH is much happier now.

59. I like to iron.

60. I need a business winter coat. The coat I have is cool but not very professional. It’s warm and cool. Anyway, it’s a turquoise and purple Columbia with a zip out liner. I love it. I think I want a colored coat: lilac/lavender or light blue or something.

61. People who put apostrophes where they don’t belong, misuse myriad and use the word over when they mean “more than” drive me to absolute distraction.

62. Especially in a national publication or ad when they should know better.

63. I love those lists on Amazon.com that people create of various books.

64. I rarely buy anything at Amazon, though … I try to buy as much either at a local book store or from Powells.com, which is a local bookstore that just happens to be in another city.

65. I drink about 2 liters of water every day.

66. I probably go to the bathroom about 5 times a day.

67. I love to make soup and beans & rice for dinners.

68. I have never made a holiday meal.

69. I could eat a pound of shrimp all by myself.

70. Of course, I’d be sick as a dog afterwards, but I’d still do it.

71. Back to books: I’m out of my “liteature” phase. I want to read stuff that is fun but not dark. Why are all “good” books dark and depressing? Is it so wrong to want to read something light and fun?

72. I am having split pea soup for lunch. I am probably having some version of Progresso soup for dinner since I’m still sick and PJH has to work late. I’m still hungry. Sickness, alas, has not affected my appetite. Well, it has but not diminished it. I just can only eat certain things. Like soup. And drink tea. And eat oranges. Maybe cookies. I wonder what’s in the vending machine?

73. I’m a believer in Inner Children. And giving them their own names.

74. Mine’s Beezy. She’s probably about 3.5 years old.

75. I am NOT a nut.

76. Okay, so I very likely am but not because of that.

77. I absolutely adore costume jewelry. My favorite pin came from femailcreations.com and it’s 3 old women. It was a gift from my aunt J and I love it. I’d have bought it for myself.

78. I keep a bowl of candy on my desk to lure in my co-workers.

79. I manage to resist it most of the time.

80. My favorite newspaper comic strip is The Boondocks.

81. I also love Dykes to Watch Out For, but they won’t print that in the local paper.

82. I write letters to the editors of magazines, newspapers, etc. Sometimes they’ve been published. Once in Allure, several times in local newspapers and Lesbian Connection.

83. My most recent one, sent today, was to Good Housekeeeping about and article they published about a family with 11 children. All that the woman gave birth to. I said it was irresponsible of them and rather shameful, quite frankly. We’ll see if they print it.

84. I’m nothing if not opinionated.

85. I read GH at work since we get a subscription. Also Better Homes & Gardens.

86. 15 years ago, I would have felt compelled to add “I am a lesbian” to the list but now I figure you probably already know that. Still, it’s here, isn’t it?

87. I can think of only half a dozen men of my acquaintance that I like/love and/or respect. They are: my brother in law (Jim) Diva’s husband (Gnomad) my boss (Dennis), my friend Justin. Fred Lesley, who used to be a chaplain volunteer with me and whom I adore. He’s 75. Okay. That’s 5, then.

88. My dad didn’t make the list this year, but he might some day. I think he’s trying, anyway.

89. I have two great ideas for books: one fiction and one not but I never get around to writing them.

90. I’ll tell you what they are, if you ask me.

91. I usually carry a book and/or magazine around with me in my work bag.

92. I love to read about cooking and food.

93. I also love to cook though I’ve been less inspired lately due to PJH’s dietary restrictions. (No wheat, no cane sugar – though I finally found beet sugar, no dairy, not beans very often, not much salt. No pork and very little beef. There are several foods that I will not list that give her intestinal distress which in turn causes me olfactory distress.)

94. I’m on the web a lot but I don’t really have one top favorite web site. I like several. Can you believe it? Something about which I don’t really have an opinion?

95. I’m also a magazine reader. I read regularly: O (the Oprah magazine), Allure, Cooking Light, More, Family Fun (ideas of stuff to do with Macy and Lucky), Guideposts, Unity Magazine, Daily Word, Lesbian Connection. I occasionally read Woman’s Day, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, Better Homes & Gardens, In Style. Rarely, I’ll be unable to resist a kitschy cover blurb and I’ll pick up Cosmo or Glamour. I’m always disappointed, though, so I don’t know why I do it.

96. People give me old magazines of theirs and that makes me happy.

97. I like foreign magazines, too, the ones we don’t get here. I’m not too interested in, say British Vogue, but I’m interested in their own magazines. From England, Canada, any English or Spanish speaking country. I keep thinking I’ll learn Spanish better if I read their magazines. It doesn’t really work that way.

98. I’d love to be a beauty editor at a fashion magazine but not enough to move to NYC and start out again as an assistant.

99. Of course, if I spent any time on freelance writing, I could at least write for those magazines. But I don’t.

100. I wonder about weird things. Like, if there is a middle east, how come there isn’t a far east or a near east? At least not that we hear about. Please enlighten me if I’m wrong and such things do exist.

101. I also collect books on housekeeping, decorating, fashion and manners from earlier than 1960. They are hilarious. I don’t have that many of them, but I love it when I find one in a used book store or a garage sale.

And there you have it! 101 Random Bits of Information About Me!